THREE HOLY MEN AND A BEAR
A Catholic Priest, a
Baptist Preacher and
a Rabbi all served
as Chaplains to the
students of Northern
Michigan University
at Marquette in the
Upper Peninsula of
Michigan.
They would get
together two or
three times a week
for coffee and to
talk shop. One day,
someone made the
comment that
preaching to people
isn't really all
that hard, a real
challenge would be
to preach to a bear.
One thing led to
another, and they
decided to do an
experiment. They
would all go out
into the woods, find
a bear, preach to
it, and attempt to
convert it to their
religion..
Seven days later,
they all came
together to discuss
their experiences.
Father Flannery, who
had his arm in a
sling, was on
crutches, and had
various bandages on
his body and limbs,
went first.
'Well,' he said, 'I
went into the woods
to find me a bear.
And when I found
him, I began to read
to him from the
Catechism.
Well, that bear
wanted nothing to do
with me and began to
slap me around. So I
quickly grabbed my
holy water,
sprinkled him and,
Holy Mary Mother of
God, he became as
gentle as a lamb.
The Bishop is coming
out next week to
give him first
communion and
confirmation.'
Reverend Billy Bob
the Baptist spoke
next. He was in a
wheelchair, had one
arm and both legs in
casts, and had an IV
drip.
In his best
fire-and-brimstone
oratory, he
exclaimed, 'WELL,
brothers, you KNOW
that we Baptists
don't sprinkle! I
went out and I FOUND
me a bear. And then
I began to read to
my bear from God's
HOLY WORD! But that
bear wanted nothing
to do with me.
So I took HOLD of
him and we began to
wrestle. We wrestled
down one hill, UP
another and DOWN
another until we
came to a creek. So
I quickly DUNKED him
and BAPTIZED his
hairy soul. And just
like you said, he
became as gentle as
a lamb. We spent the
rest of the day
praising Jesus.
Hallelujah!
The Priest and the
Reverend both looked
down at the Rabbi,
who was lying in a
hospital bed. He was
in a body cast and
traction with IVs
and monitors running
in and out of him.
He was in really bad
shape.
The Rabbi looked up
and said: "Looking
back on it,
circumcision may not
have been the best
way to start.
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