These classifieds were really put in the paper - a  smile for your day


FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8  years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!
 


FREE  PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
 


FREE PUPPIES.. Mother, AKC German Shepherd. Father, Super  Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
 


FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat. Been out a while.  Better be a big reward.
 


COWS,  CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.


NORDIC  TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.


GEORGIA PEACHES  California grown - 89 cents/lb.


JOINING NUDIST  COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.


WEDDING  DRESS FOR SALE . Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.


And the best one:

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of  Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition.  $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed,
Got married last month.  Wife knows everything.

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