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NICKNAMES
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If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out
for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
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If Mike, Dave and John go out,
they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy,
Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
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When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and
John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None
of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they
want change back.
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When the girls get their bill, out
come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
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A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he
needs.
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A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that
she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
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A man has six items in his bathroom:
toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and
a towel .
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The average number of items in the
typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to
identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
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A woman has the last word in any
argument.
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Anything a man says after that is the
beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
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A woman worries about the future until
she gets a husband.
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A man never worries about the future
until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
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A successful man is one who makes more
money than his wife can spend.
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A successful woman is one who can find
such a man.
MARRIAGE
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A woman marries a man expecting he
will change, but he doesn't.
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A man marries a woman expecting that
she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
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A woman will dress up to go shopping,
water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book,
and get the mail.
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A man will dress up for weddings and
funerals.
NATURAL
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Men wake up as good-looking as they
went to bed.
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Women somehow deteriorate during the
night.
OFFSPRING
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Ah, children. A woman knows all about
her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances,
best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
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A man is vaguely aware of some short
people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing!
Proof that Men Have Better
Friends.
Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her
husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his
wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that
he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10
best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he
was still there. |