Mildred, the church gossip,
and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals,
kept sticking her nose in to other people's business. Several members
did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her
enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when
she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw
his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.
She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was an alcoholic.
Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny... He said nothing. Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house... Walked home . .. And left it there all Night!
You gotta love Frank!
There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the Congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary.
There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church. Finally, the Preacher got up and spoke to the crowd, 'Children are a gift from God,' he said.
Silence fell on the congregation....
In the back pew, a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."